2024 Ins, Outs and Predictions

🌖 a bonus LOOSEY to kick off 2024 🌔

Welcome to the future. Image: Lil’ Mo in Givenchy by Alexander McQueen for Interview Magazine in 1999.

To quote the first LOOSEY ever: absolutely no one asked for this. And yet, here I am. Adding onto the swaths of ins and out lists that you have likely been waterboarded with over the past few days. Below is a meme of a meme that I saw yesterday that sums up our collective experience:

I typically send a private, unhinged in and out list to my friends for the new year. This normally manifests through screenshots of a Google Doc that I send to a group text or a post on my Instagram Close Friends. This year, instead of gatekeeping, I thought I’d share with you as a bonus LOOSEY. The thought of another 2024 Ins and Outs list may seem annoying but I’m just doing my part to remind you that… yes, we can be irritatin’ too!

One of the best line reads from Abbott Elementary.

Finally, before we get in, if you haven’t read my essay on New Year Wants, you can still read it here.

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In 

• Bidets, my mother has a saying that goes something like “the new broom sweeps clean but the old broom knows all the corners” and what’s more ‘old broom’ than WATER? I got my bidet from TUSHY and it’s great but, take it from me and my apartment superintendent, do not try to install yourself on a Wednesday night with an IKEA Allen key while watching Real Housewives of Potomac.

• Novellas and short story collections, concise dramas as a treat.

• Related, Anais Nin’s Delta Venus

• Early dinners, preferably beginning between the hours of 630-730PM. Easier to get resos and better for digestion :)

• LUAR

• Grabbing drinks in hotel lobby bars — it feels so chic, so corporate espionage, so Anne Hathaway in Ocean’s 8

• Zines and indie chapbooks, I recently read Hole Play by Maya Martinez and now have an insatiable desire to read more independent publishing in 2024.

• Green aventurine crystals, M*tt R*fe came for the crystal girlies and look what happened to him! Green aventurine allows you to release old habits so growth can occur 🔮

• Dover sole

• Vintage Ralph Lauren suits

• Voice notes, read this for more context 

• Not trusting people who don’t like spicy food  

• Listening to Sade everyday for improved blood circulation but especially on Sundays when you are cleaning or making a meal 

• Having a nemesis

• Briefcases/trunks for luggage

• Chicken balls and that red sweet and sour sauce 

• Bobs

• Read receipts 

• Vermouth and soda

• Kite flying 

• e.l.f. glow revival lip oil

• Referring to pants as trousers 

• Neon Genesis Evangelion 

• Vogue Arabia, the covers!

• Buenos Aires 

• Having a tailor 

Outs 

• Dyson hand dryers, the only thing less reliable than this is the McDonald’s ice cream machine

• ATM machines that broadcast your account balance to the world aka the line forming behind you

• Jack’s Wife Freda, the restaurant not the person who I’m sure exists in real life!

• Geo-tagging on Instagram Stories

• Birthday dinners with more than six guests

• “Raisins” or “cranberries” “in” “cookies,” this is vile — please seek medical assistance 

• Erewhon, I love the Hailey Bieber smoothie but they doing too much 

• Le Labo Santal 33, the scent equivalent of having a Tom Ford coffee table book

• Scarfs… why does your neck need security? 

• Orange wine 

• Not going to something because you weren’t directly invited by the host

• Movies that are over an hour and a half 

• Saying “surprise me” to waiters, this is truly zodiac killer behaviour 

• On that note: Manslaughter, First Degree or bust

• Waiting for Euphoria Season 3, honestly – we don’t need it and neither does Zendaya

Predictions 

• Playboy Magazine re-emerging as a prominent cultural publication, a rizzed out Interview Magazine, with Jenna Lyons as Editor-In-Chief

• Emma Cline’s The Guest optioned to HBO and produced by A24 with Margaret Qualley as lead

• Dubai to build “The Dome,” a Las Vegas Sphere competitor. Kylie Minogue and Utada Hikaru are amoung the first to announce residency. 

• Keke Palmer to discover new colour while fly fishing in the Yukon 

• Root beer flavour renaissance

• Biologique Recherche to acquire NuFACE

• The opening drum sequence in Destiny’s Child ‘Lose My Breath’ and the drum sequence alone to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame for Outstanding Achievement in Percussion 

• Royal Family to sign a deal with Bravo

• A global Mad Men re-watch commences, igniting January Jones and Kiernan Shipka’s careers to new heights

• Nigeria to pass France as a leader in global champagne consumption 

That’s all! Happy New Year!